Demelza can support families in making memories in many ways, finding opportunities to have positive family experiences, even at the saddest of times. This can be through play, using art, music, creating memory boxes or making hand and feet casts.
Staff will talk to parents and carers to find out what is important to them and how they would like to spend time together with their child.
At Demelza we provide practical advice and support, helping families with funeral arrangements, registering a child’s death, liaising with employers for time off and schools for sibling support, and informing family and friends. We can signpost the family to different agencies, including welfare and social care.
The bereavement suites, the Butterfly Suite in South East London and the Hop Garden in Kent, are special rooms where families are able to stay close to their child after they have died.
We can also provide a special cot to enable bereaved parents and carers to spend time with their baby. Having this private space enables a family to stay close to their child for up to five days before the funeral.
Demelza runs regular bereavement cafes – both virtual and in person - for bereaved relatives to meet others and talk in a relaxed environment. We also have befrienders and groups for bereaved dads, grandparents and support for siblings.
Each of the services offer support through listening and provide an opportunity to meet with others who have experienced a similar loss.
Demelza holds a number of events throughout the year, including the annual Candlelight, Snowdrop and summer remembrance events.
The events are a time for parents and carers to reflect, reminisce and celebrate the life of their child, in the company of their family and wider Demelza community.
“We knew the moment had come. It was the last time David and I would get to see our little boy. We walked into the bereavement suite at Demelza where Zak lay peacefully, carefully dressed in the clothes we’d given to the nurses, and kissed him goodbye on the forehead. Something that should’ve been the hardest thing in the world, was made bearable. We walked out of Zak’s final resting place; a beautiful bedroom so thoughtfully laid out, with Queen – his favourite band in the whole world – playing to him. We closed the door – which had his name and a picture of a guitar on it - and sat quietly in the adjoining family conservatory. We knew Zak had gone but he was still close by and being cared for by Demelza until the very end.”
The bereavement service is supported by family liaison workers, art and music therapists and a team of trained bereavement volunteers.
Information, advice and guidance for parents, carers and families affected by the death of a child are available.
Support does not end after a child died. Families can choose to remain in touch with Demelza and access support from our dedicated bereavement team.
By establishing and developing relationships and encouraging communication with others, our bereavement services support families in retaining connections with their child through shared memories.
By learning how others manage grief, families can learn new ways of coping, gently building resilience and finding a path forward.
Staying connected
Our team provides bereavement support for the whole family for as long as they wish.
Eventually families may feel ready to transition away from Demelza, but we are always available if they need us.
Families can continue to stay in touch with our bereavement team and others, through the private Bereavement Families Facebook group.
The Family Support team is contactable by calling 01795 845280 every working weekday from 10am – 4pm.
