Kane’s story: nan’s perspective

“It was a doubled-edged sword staying at Demelza for Kane’s end of life care. I was always aware of why I was there, but the staff made me feel so comfortable that it felt like home towards the end.

“I received so much support while I was at Demelza. Each nurse made time for me to have conversations or asked if I was okay or if they could get me anything. One day, one of the family support staff took me aside for a private chat. She told me how much support there was for me and how important I am. I was overwhelmed with her kindness.

“We thought we would just have a few days at Demelza, but Kane clung on to life for four weeks. I got to read to him every day. They helped me make a hand cast with him. It was a pleasure to spend time in the garden with him or listen to his music therapist singing to him. I got to hold his hand and kiss his forehead every day. My most special memory was babysitting Kane while Craig and Kerri went for a walk on their own. I’d never babysat Kane before, because he needed so much care. That was really special for me.

“As Craig’s mum, it was comforting to know that Demelza was there to support Kerri and Craig. At first, I could see they were emotional and frustrated, but the longer we were at Demelza the more they both relaxed. I even saw them laugh on occasions with the team. That made my heart sing, I didn't hear them laugh much before that.

“I felt Demelza cared about the important things for Craig and Kerri. They even had all their meals cooked for them – the chefs are great cooks, providing lots of choice and homemade cake any time of day.

“I’ve started attending Demelza’s grandparents’ group and my first one was very overwhelming. I cried the whole session. I couldn't attend the next one as I was too emotional - it was Kane’s birthday that week. He would have been three. 

“But I’ve been back, and now the conversations aren’t always about our loss. It's nice just to be with other grandparents, listen to their stories and know they have been through something similar to me. I have a volunteer driver who collects me and brings me home free of charge. What a service!

“To any other families, I would say not to be hesitant about using Demelza. It is a wonderful, caring environment for you and your child. They will provide you with everything you need, and everything you didn't know you needed. It is the most comfortable environment – it’s a home from home. They not only look after you while you are there - the aftercare is amazing too. Demelza really cares. Demelza shows love. Demelza know your needs more than you know. It's not just about your child; it's about you as well.

“I would like to thank each and every member of the team for making my stay at Demelza so comfortable. I had some fun as well as bad days, and it was the best decision to stay there. I was looked after by everyone.”