Lousies staff story

Louise explains: "I’ve worked in care since I was 16. I looked after people with dementia when I left school, then moved into community care where I looked after children too. Growing up, I had a cousin who had a severe disability. She died when she was 21. I used to look after her a lot when I was a little girl, so I think caring has always been in my nature. 

“When the Demelza job advert came up, after taking care of my cousin as well as looking after children in the community, I thought it was something I might be able to do. But I was really anxious about it, especially about looking after children in the bereavement suite - it wasn’t something I had any experience with. But after working alongside the experienced care team, I felt more confident, and I knew it was just an extension of the care we give. We ensure families are supported throughout to say a meaningful goodbye and that their child is treated with dignity, care and respect.” 

While working in the care team, Louise loved helping children create things and share those memories with their families. Over time, this developed into a beautiful memory package for families at end of life. 

Louise says: “I’ve always enjoyed creating memories with the children I care for. While on the care team, this would range from making hand and footprints, creating art with the child, taking photographs of special moments and activities, to even getting short video clips to share with families – just capturing those moments for them to enjoy together. 

“This then evolved into creating a wooden memory box, which is offered to families of children at end of life or using the bereavement suite. The box included specially selected ceramic items such as a photo frame, bauble, and tile, that can all be personalised with hand/footprints in brightly coloured inks. 

“I had taken a body casting course privately, as I wanted to create my own memories with my children, and I suggested this might be something we could do for families to add to the items already offered. It all just snowballed from there. I was caring for a child receiving end of life care and while holding his hand, his mum mentioned that she would love to have that moment captured in time. So that’s when we introduced the casting. It became really popular – it’s something the families say is really meaningful.” 

Louise’s role is highly skilled – you have to work fast when casting and there is a huge pressure to make sure the final piece is successful, because there may not always be a second chance to work with the child. It can also be deeply emotional work. 

Louise explains: “It can be difficult to work closely with children who have died, but you hold on to the fact that you know how much it means to the family that they can touch their child’s hand again. You hold on to the privilege of the moment, because you know how heartbreaking it is. I’ve got personal experience in this, and that’s a big part of my motivation to do this work. We take a lot of time and care. In those moments, we might sing to the child, read them a story, or sit beside a parent holding their child’s hand, if they do want to do that. I can’t emphasise enough that even if a child has died, we treat them just as we would if they were alive. I think a lot of people, and families, don’t expect that, but for us that’s the most important thing.” 

No matter how difficult it can be, for Louise it’s all worth it to help families make and preserve those precious memories. 

Louise says: “I think memory-making gives families the ability to transport themselves back to being with their child, even if it was the most painful time. It’s being able to touch, it’s tangible. It’s about not forgetting that they are a family, that their child is very much loved and still included in everything the family does. Those items become very special. One family member told us if there was a fire, they would rescue their memory items above anything else in the house. 

“The way I look at things is we’re just in the background, holding space, and giving families the opportunity to make memories. But it is really nice to hear that they get comfort from it. On a difficult day it helps to know how important or special it is to them. It is a huge privilege. 

“I think that's why Demelza has a very special place in my heart that you can’t get from any other organisation. Working with the families, seeing their journey and how difficult that is, and just trying to make it the slightest bit easier. There’s nothing quite like it.”